White-nose Syndrome: The cause of no caving

Hello, World of Today Speleological Club.  I regret to inform you that our 8th annual Cave-a-Thon is going to have to be postponed AGAIN due to YET ANOTHER OUTBREAK of white-nose syndrome in thousands of bats.  I know, I know–I shouldn’t have promised at our last chapter meeting that, “Never again will our expedition be stymied by a deadly outbreak of white-nose syndrome, named for the distinctive pattern of sugary fungus that develops around the nose of bats.”  Exactly the opposite of this has happened:  We have been stymied.  Completely stymied!  According to they NYT:

Some estimates of deaths are as high as 500,000 bats. Researchers worry about a mass die-off of bats, which help control the populations of insects that can damage wheat, apples and dozens of other crops.

Authorities have closed off the caves to protect the bats.  So, put away your pickaxes, headlamps, dynamite, troll repellent, cave food, knee pads and all your other caving gear.  We will have our usual meeting at the pub this week, where we all get black-out drunk, curse white-nose syndrome, and say a prayer for our brothers-in-caves: the bats.