A coke-filled submarine

First:  If you do not read the bloggings of Michael Chertoff and friends over at the Department of Homeland Security it is your duty as a terrified American citizen to point your RSS feeder there now. (Also, comments are enabled, which presents the exciting possibility of an Osama Bin Laden-Geroge W. Bush flame war.)  Perhaps the most interesting thing I’ve learned from reading this blog is the sheer variety of vehicles Bad Guys might use to penetrate our supple borders–it’s like GI-Joes over here.  They include: trucks, planes, boats, the Internet, missiles, human bodies and ideas.

But also: Submarines!

A week ago, the Mexican Navy captured a “self-propelled semi-submersible” (SPSS)  filled with 5.8 tons of cocaine as it attempted to sneak into the US–one of about 45 detected in 2008.  These Colombian built SPSSs cost $2 million each and can’t completely submerge, but it’s enough to evade radar detection.  They also conveniently sink if captured, destroying any evidence.  So now Admiral Thad W. Allen (ahem) of the Coast Guard writes on Chertoff’s blog that the US needs a law banning the “operation of and embarkation in” SPSSs.

Which, I’m sorry, but no:  If keeping drugs out of America means giving up our long tradition of self-propelled semi-submersible pilotry, then I’m willing to take the risk that tons of cocaine might accidently end up in my living room even if I am only in the mood for a kilo or so.

Self-propelled semi-submersibles don’t kill people, people who fill those submersibles with tons of cocaine kill people.

What’s next:  A dirgible ban?  Hovercraft moratorium?