My muscles are like words in the Oxford English Dictionary: well-defined.

My muscles are like Finland’s wireless telephone infrastructure: well-developed.

My muscles are like the national debt: enormous and owed partially to China.

My muscles are like rocks:  the word “muscles” has both a “c” and an “s” in it.

My muscles are like my guns: I call them “my guns”.

My muscles are like holes underneath the walls of a prison: sometimes chicks dig them.

My muscles are like holes underneath the walls of a prison: but more often guys dig them.

My muscles are like cobras:  why the hell does everyone think I’m gay?

My muscles are like molten lava: I’m not gay.