Last week I blogged about procrastination, and how I do it. It’s funny that today I found out I’m not the only one! Here is the diary of John Skocpol, Procrastinating astronaut:

The Diary of Lt. Commander John Skocpol, Procrastinating Astronaut

April 14th
8 hours until launch. All I need to do now is mentally prepare for the rigors of space travel. Also: pack, pay taxes and break up with Amy. Also, find a cheap flight to Kennedy Space Center. What’s that website where you can buy plane tickets other people forgot to pick up? Actually I probably shouldn’t be writing in my diary right now.

April 15th
Forgot to mail my taxes. What happens if you send it in like a week late? Wrote Amy an email; didn’t send it. Just didn’t feel right. Also, I’m in space now. I think I forgot a lot of things on Earth…

April 16th
Forgot some pretty important things on Earth: my toothbrush and briefs. The guys keep ribbing me about the briefs. Williams is all, “Dude, your balls are going to shrink to hard, black shriveled raisins and fall off,” which would be funny if there weren’t scientific studies suggesting that is actually what might happen. They were radiation-proof briefs. Note: check radiation levels at International Space Station. Rewrote email to Amy; didn’t send it (no Internet connection).

April 17th
Arrived at International Space Station. Went on computer system to check radiation levels but ended up playing Snood for eight hours. Can’t believe they have that up here. Missed spacewalk. Balls itch, but could just be chafing. Proofread email to Amy; looks good. Didn’t send it. Need to stop procrastinating and file my taxes. Pretty sure NASA has pills for that. Will take them tomorrow.

April 18th
TO DO:
spacewalk
organize space pens (by color)
trim nails
check radiation levels
how does that Springsteen song go?
Send email to Amy
Update Facebook photo
Take anti-procrastination pills
File taxes

April 19th
Missed the spacewalk again yesterday, now Williams won’t get off my case. Does he want it done quick or does he want it done right? I’m guessing quick, since he told me this mission costs $12,000 an hour. In that case he’s wasted about $120,000 this week with his nagging. Douche. Took me three hours to calculate that. Shit, just missed the spacewalk again. Need to check radiation levels after sending breakup email and filing taxes. But first: anti-procrastination pills. But before that: Snood.

April 20th
Balls turned black. Could be from radiation levels but who knows. Missed spacewalk, which means I have plenty of time to do my taxes.

April 21st
Just got an email from Amy: She broke up with me. Said she’s sick of me putting things off. Also said she’s taking the house. Should make doing my taxes easier. Balls shriveled into raisin-sized nuggets. Note: Check radiation levels after doing taxes.

April 22nd
Landed on Earth today. Finally checked radiation levels: They’re totally fine. Balls fell off. Isn’t there some kind of deduction for that?