Do I really even love you/or do I really love your brain -N.E.R.D.

In seventh grade I had this recurring dream: twenty-eight times each night I would dream that I was a large brain floating in outer space. And as if this wasn’t bad enough–I was completely naked. I was also completely naked in the reoccurring dreams I had about Sarah Fallon, the eighth grader with the ample chest of a high school sophomore and the 23 year-old boyfriend. Guess which dream recently became actualized in real life? Hint: It is the less awesome and (slightly) more improbably one.

That is correct: According to science, I may very well be a naked brain floating in space. In fact some recent theories of cosmology predict that the odds that I am naked floating brain in space rather than a naked (yes I am) blogger at a computer are infinity to one. Here is why, according to the NYT

The basic problem is that across the eons of time, the standard theories suggest, the universe can recur over and over again in an endless cycle of big bangs, but it’s hard for nature to make a whole universe. It’s much easier to make fragments of one, like planets, yourself maybe in a spacesuit or even — in the most absurd and troubling example — a naked brain floating in space. Nature tends to do what is easiest, from the standpoint of energy and probability. And so these fragments — in particular the brains — would appear far more frequently than real full-fledged universes, or than us. Or they might be us.

Now, I know what you are thinking. If we are all naked brains floating in space, which we are, why has no one thought of a naked space brain-specific line of clothing and accessories? The first thought that coursed through my gently pulsating solitary mind as it floated through desolate infinitude, past giant nebulae and iridescent steel-colored stars was: There is practically an entire universe of products and services available for non-nude, non-floating-in-space, complete humans.  But what is out there, out in the self-replicating, finitely-expanding, thirteen-dimensional cosmological wilderness, for me? 

BUSINESS PLAN: