Saturday, December 8th, 2007...5:57 pm

BUSINESS TIP: What does Indiana Jones tell us about best business practices (BBP)?

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At its core, Indian Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark is a story about Luke Skywalker coming to grips with the temptations and distortions of great power, incest and technological alienation. Sure, that’s the core. Lining the edges, though, is a powerful lesson about how to run your high tech business.

Think about it: Skywalker (AKA “Indiana Jones”) is like a well-run Internet startup. Indiana Skywalker is physically small, improbably weak and consistently underfunded, yet nimble and flexible. Since he works alone or with a stereotyped Chinese boy, he is free to almost instantaneously change direction to best fit the current situation: He is equally adept with whip, pistol or lightsaber and has the Force. Innovation is highly prized, and he approaches each problem with all options on the table. As long as a proposed solution results in a giant explosion, Luke Skyjones will consider it. In this way he is like Google–a very successful Internet company.

The Nazi Empire–led by the evil Darth Hitler–on the other hand is like a giant, obsolete corporation: rigid, hierarchical and unimaginative. While Skywalker has at his disposal a number of methods with which to achieve success, the Nazi Empire puts all of its eggs in one metaphorical basket: The Holocaust Star Zeppelin. The enormous, entirely-proprietary, Holocaust Star Zeppelin is like the dreaded “black box” in tech development–an impenetrable monstrosity which prevents any collaborative efforts or open source innovation. It is expensive and unwieldy and all development is done in-house, like the extremely inefficient sewage system. (Indiana Skywalker Jones, however, will frequently outsource work to lesser cultures.) Ultimately the Holocaust Star Zeppelin is doomed by the very things from which it draws its strength: The ability to coordinate every stage of product development, from concept to production; also, Sean Connery. In this way, the Nazi Empire is like Apple Computers, which is currently struggling financially for exactly these two reasons.

I won’t bore you with the details of the many other aspects of Indiana Jedi Strikes Back and the Star Jones that can help your high-tech business (one hint: Harrison Ford). However, the takeaway business message is this: Stay small, stay flexible, keep many different weapons and extrasensory skills at your disposal, and always solve your business problems with spectacular violence.

1 Comment

  • possibly drunk housemate...
    December 9th, 2007 at 2:14 am

    Best Business Practice is to fuckin weigh the same exact amount of sand in a burlap sack as the wamp rats you used to bullseye in your T-16 back home, then fuckin swap that shit out for the stone idol with emerald eyes just sitting there on top of that goddamn ventilation shaft and then high tail it the fuck out of the Death Temple Star as the ginormous TIE-boulder rolls down the trench piloted by Darth fuckin Vader himself and you have to use the force to guide your whip to swing across the garbage smasher and then HOT DAMN you blew up the ancient mayan galactic empire death temple star ruins and just made it out alive but then who the fuck is waiting outside but THE EMPEROR who uses the GODDAMN FUCKING FORCE (and a gang of armed Ewoks) to steal that idol right out of your sweaty palms. So I guess being the badass rival archaeologist who sold out to the Dark Side of the Force and now rules the academic galaxy with an iron fist is really probably the BBP of all. Flexibility is key in this business!

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