I AM MAN

Adrian’s Mom here again. I have to say I was a bit shaken up by my portentous vision. I spent all yesterday lying out in the warm Vermont sun, trying to comprehend the event. It meant nothing, of course, but I feel that blogging has now lost something of its charm for me. I prefer to keep my hallucinations to myself. These days, it seems, every man woman and child who dreams of giving birth to a horrid demonspawn in the form of their dead child on national television has to go posting it on the Internet as if complete strangers are dying to hear about it.

Also, I’m a busy woman with a Foundation to run. I don’t know how Adrian kept it up, though I’d imagine it fit nicely between his constant bouts of masturbating to Internet pornography. My husband and I used to try to get him interested in hobbies, but Adrian always insisted they take no longer than 13 minutes because that’s how long it took him to “charge up.” Believe it or not, those were the good days.

So today, I have invited my good friend and former lover Dean Karnazes to help keep this blog alive. Dean is a world-renowned ultramarathon runner, which means he runs all-night, 100-mile races, has 5% body fat and screws like forty-three tons of dynamite strapped to Halley’s Comet. You ought to read his book. He’s finishing up a quick 28-miler and should be over here blogging anytime now.