“Drugs.” A word most feared, or a word most dear? Depending on whom you ask, you may get vastly different responses. Students are often taught to “just say no” to drugs, but this becomes a big problem once you find out how many cool things are referred to as “drugs”. What, exactly, is a “drug”? People sometimes say alcohol is a drug, or love. These people ought to try getting drunk and laid once in a while. Is the Advil I took to alleviate my neck swelling this morning a “drug?” Is the coffee I’m drinking a “drug?” What about the heroin I’m injecting into my arm? There are no clear answers in the world of drugs.

Glancing around the World of Today we see that-whatever they are-drugs are front and center in newspapers and in the blogosphere. They are an ISSUE OF IMPORTANCE:

First, Anna Nicole Smith was found to have had traces of nine prescription drugs in her body at the time of her death. According to FDA standards, this technically makes her body a prescription drug itself. Researchers from Pfizer plan to study it in the hopes of finding a new superdrug which has the combined powers of the nine lesser medicines plus strange, new abilities.

A German study found that the rhythm method works as well as the Pill (a “drug”?) in preventing pregnancies for some couples. The only catch: You can’t have sex during half of each month. I think the rhythm method would probably work awesome for couples who aren’t attracted to each other, as well as for gay men and rocks.

Drugs score big when it comes to heart disease. Turns out that pills are as effective as costly, dangerous surgery to fix angina. Angina is well known for being one of the five most similar-sounding words to “vagina” in the English language.